Nothing Flourishes Alone: Self-Reliance, Interdependence and the People who Help Us Grow

As an introvert-leaning person who naturally enjoys solo tasks, I’ve been thinking about the value we place on being able to manage things by ourselves.

Perhaps underneath the value is a false sense of security. When we are working through things alone then we feel like we have total control over the experience. But is that true?

I’m not talking about solitude, because tuning in and creating space is vital to our wellbeing. I’m talking about the habitual resistance to allowing another person to contribute something we haven’t yet been able to find for ourselves. For some of us, this can touch surprisingly tender places: a fear of appearing inadequate, incapable, less accomplished or somehow weak. These ideas rarely appear from nowhere. They can be bound up with the identities we have built over time, particularly through periods when being capable, independent or in control helped us feel safe.